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i love my MASH future [last heard purring at06-19-08>]     I will marry Ryan Villena.     After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Provence in our fabulous Mansion.     We will have 1 kid(s) together.     Our family will zoom around in a Green Toyota Innova.   I will spend my days as a Editor, and live happily ever after.       meowww yourself!

Tagged by Sam :) -- you might be tagged too! [last heard purring at06-12-08>] The Rules: I. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves. II. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules. III. At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names. IV. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog. -- Random facts about me: 1. I think I've made this pretty clear: I am a HUGE shia labeouf fan. i secretly (well not so secretly now) wish to see him in person one day. and have my picture taken with him. and. well. give him a kiss on the. cheek. cheek lang! 2. i splurge more on lipstick than on any other kind of makeup. and i stick to pale pinks and nudes. i don't like how dark lipsticks make me look. my lips are pouty enough. 3. there is something about a rustic mountain cabin that appeals to me more than the beach (i have never been a beach person; i don't even like to swim).  i guess it's the cold nip in the air, the fresh, clean scent of leaves, the sound of insects serenading you with their nighttime songs, mugs of delicious hot chocolate shared with friends by the fireside... Ano, Shine? BAGUIO tayo!? heehee! 4. i am a foodie. i don't cook, i don't know much about ingredients and flavors and shit, but i love to eat. i wish i could eat in at least one new place every month, if only financial obligations wouldn't get in the way :-s 5. i read four books at a time. it always depends on my mood at the moment. like right now, i'm reading sense and sensibility, atonement, my love affair with england, and this side of paradise. if i'm in the mood for a little romantic comedy, i go for jane austen; if i'm feeling a bit tragic, i grab atonement; if i want to feel a bit english, it's the memoir about england; if i'm looking for a bit of boisterous fun, then f. scott fitzgerald does it for me. 6. i'm a mild francophile. i study french just for the fun of it. i would love to speak fluent, conversational french one day. if only UP's foreign lang dept would quit dissolving my french 3 class...apparently, there's always not enough people who enlist in this class. 7. i am also pro-british. i grew up on children's stories about teatime and peppermints and little princesses; hence, my penchant for things and places with an english flair. 8. i used to write a lot of poetry. i consider my senior year in high school up to freshman year in college my "golden era." i'd churn out around 3-4 poems a month, and i kept them all in a ratty old notebook. but after submitting two or three to our college literary publication, i stopped. i guess it hurt to hear criticism (even if it was constructive) about things that were really "close to my heart." i haven't written a poem  since then. 9. i'm a closet rihanna fan. shut up. 10. i don't eat pork. unless it's the processed kind...like bacon, or ham, or hotdog. but i'd say no to lechon kawali or crispy pata any day. *bow* Tagging: deeji and jk (because you're my newest multiply friends), mikawika and monsieur martin, katwoster, iza, archie, tim, jonas, mems meowww yourself!

the weekend is a party! [last heard purring at05-31-08>] it's been like this for me lately. looks like someone's enjoying her 25-year-old-ness! and i thought this year i'd find myself in a "crisis." au contraire...i've never felt so comfortable in my own skin, with my friends old and new, with my sisters, with my boyfriend. oooh i hope this lasts. just a rundown of the weekend so far: friday was moving out day for all summiteers--from our decrepit, rat-and-roach-infested basement office in robinsons galleria mall, to the brand new 6th-floor office at the robinsons cybergate tower on pioneer street. (goodbye to impromptu shopping breaks during office hours! goodbye to free original glazed krispy kreme doughnuts! goodbye galleria! you will be sorely missed.) and so going on serious work mode was impossible, what with the din of packaging tape being ripped from its roll rising above all the packing racket. pack, pack, pack, that's all we did the whole day. if we weren't packing, we were yakking, surfing the net, doing some last-minute shopping (which is what mics and i did, seeing how body shop was on sale). i was supposed to meet up with martin and mika, but (boooo!) they couldn't make it, so i made plans with my officemates instead. we trooped to route 196 on katipunan, because tim was playing with his band top junk at the 10th anniversary of session road. the gig rocked because the bands rocked, tuesday vargas sang blondie and YYYs songs, and well, i'd had much to drink! martin was able to drop by late in the night, and we caught up on chismis (to be accurate, i just kept him up to speed on recent events in my life) before he left for another party. that's martin for you, the long-haired party boy. ryan picked me up afterwards because we too had another party to go to...leigh's "twenty-fifth" (liar!) birthday party at dex's place in xavierville! we arrived to see a bunch of guys already high on isaw and chips and wine (what a combination), and, of all things, trance music. but the party mellowed down (and ironically, things heated up) when dex, the night's official spinner, started playing hits from the yesteryears: david pomeranz's king and queen of hearts, sharon cuneta's mr. dj, janno gibbs' ipagpatawad mo, the theme from John en Marsha. the boys started bumping and grinding with a banana, leigh was clicking away on her camera, and i fell asleep on the couch. what a riot. saturday morning, i woke up to find out i had to drive my sister to antipolo. it was no problem, i'd be bringing her to al padi compound, a place i haven't been to in about ten years. driving down the winding path to the renewal center (where she was facilitating a youth camp) brought memories of my 10-year-old self, running around with aussie world-youth-day delegates; my 13-year-old self teaching a group of newbies how to exorcise demons (figuratively speaking of course); my 16-year-old self flirting with 17- and 18-year-old boys under the pretense that we were in a fellowship with the lord. no matter how different my beliefs are now from then, those were good good old days, and it felt wonderful to remember them as i did today. not knowing where to go, i made up my mind to just hang out somewhere...a mall maybe, go shopping, or just go online at some wifi-enabled location. then it dawned on me that i could instead go to RABERLY, the most hip and happening, ultra-cool venue in town for...what else?! ukay-ukay stuff!!!! if you haven't been there, YOU HAVE TO. i was there for almost two hours, trying on so many things that the guy at the counter couldn't help but smile with glee with all the items i kept on setting aside. all in all, i spent only P1,700 for three pairs of shoes (surprisingly, they were brand new) and ten tops. if i went to the mall as i'd originally planned, I would have bought only a pair of shoes with that amount of money. so don't forget gals and guys (yes, plenty of great shirts for guys there too): RABERLY ukay ukay store is on the corner of aurora blvd and katipunan avenue, right before st. bridget's gate. in a couple of hours i'm meeting up with mika at rory's, to keep her company while her boyfriend tries to win a basketball game at the loyola gym. a chance for me to show off  the playlists i've been making in my laptop, with blondie's "rapture" on top of the list and on constant replay. i've downloaded a lot of great chick songs, mainly because, well--i'm too excited to keep it to myself--i'm in a band!!! hahahaha! it has long been a secret dream of mine, and i've twice been invited by different people, but insecurity has always been a big hindrance and twice i declined. now BOO to you, my insecure self, because i don't care what you say, i'm going to be in a band! hahaha i don't want to jinx it, so let's just wait and see how it'll turn out! tomorrow, my sisters and i made plans with our cousins to visit lola's grave at himlayan, because today's her 11th death anniversary. while our parents and uncles and aunts party away on a cruise ship in the carribeans, we do our duties as responsible adult grandchildren of lola chabeng and say prayers for her and lolo asiong's souls, and for patrick's as well. then a potluck lunch at my house, then i'll be off to -- haha i can't believe i'm saying this -- band practice! so there! my weekend recap, even if it ain't over yet. :)) too bad i don't have the pictures to show for it, but what the hell. i'm happy and you know it clap your hands!!! 2 meowmeows meowww yourself!

the never-ending battle between good and evil [last heard purring at05-26-08>] good boy? or bad boy? ahihihi. tsk tsk. hirap magdecide. (pero in the end, the good guy always wins) *wink wink* 4 meowmeows meowww yourself!

i heart chillitees [last heard purring at05-24-08>] i had such a blast last night! i'm sure i did some things i would probably regret in another life, so it's a good thing that in this life, i have no regrets. i'm glad i went, i'm glad ryan was able to get off bartending duties at rory's, i'm glad my death-metal officemate eric and his girlfriend were there (plus lomowhore officemate jonas), i'm glad katwo and crissy were there, i'm glad my sister dindi was there, i'm glad she got to meet someone cute, i'm glad that there was free-flowing bacardi the whole night, i'm glad we finished two servings of mogwai's deadly bacon liver roll, i'm glad i got to pose like a drunk lesbian for various "photogs" (which i hope they would upload because i would be more than glad to laugh at my pictures). and i couldn't help but notice how cute ryan looked in his new i-lost-weight-so-i'm-wearing-a-size-S-tshirt look. heehee :) the sandwich set was great, and the chillitees set was even better so it was dance dance dance the whole night! the only thing i regret doing was buying the chillitees cd, because afterwards i realized that i had a media ID and could get the press kit with cd for free. i claimed my press kit anyway, and gave it to my sister. there is this thing that girls do in private girls' schools, the touch-her-breasts activity. i remember in high school one of our batchmates proclaimed every thursday (or was it tuesday?) a touch-her-breasts day, or more aptly, "manyakan day." it's pretty much like when guys go for each other's crotches when they're fooling around. anyway, i unofficially proclaimed last night as manyakan night, and i successfully manhandled leigh's, katwo's, crissy's, jasmine's, and even my sister's breasts. crissy said i "drummed on her breasts", but i let her drum on my tush anyway so we're even. we have several pictures of the activity, perfect for blackmailing. so that was pretty much what i did last night. i had so much fun. it's been so long ago since i had that much fun! i'm looking forward to the next time. today i'm pacing myself, just so i don't tire myself over the weekend. i might finally have my hair dyed later, and tomorrow, we might have a picnic lunch at UP! i'm so excited! yeyyy!!! that's it for now, good bye!!! *skips happily away* meowww yourself!

friday night recap [last heard purring at05-16-08>] i left the office at an unusual hour tonight...7 p.m. thereabouts. pretty early for someone from my team. i wasn't dressed in my friday night best, but i made an effort to put on makeup and rub perfume on my neck and on my wrist, because i had a date with rob. after texting each other the entire week that a dinner date and an unloading of pent-up emo angst was in order, we finally pushed through with it. i miss makati already, after almost two months of not living/working there, and so we chose to eat at cuillere in serendra. thank you, rob, for indulging in my francophilia, because i know you wanted to eat italian. you weren't pleased with the moules frites, and your grilled lamb wasn't cooked the way you wanted it, but i think you had fun, come on, admit it! useless for me to address her now, because she doesn't read my blog anyway. but i love recalling a night with rob, or with any of my best friends for that matter, because they make me feel giddy with love. i remember a similar post before, and i think it was also after a dinner date with rob (that girl is getting too much publicity in my journals). it's fun to just talk about crushes and not feel like i'm doing a bad thing. it's fun to act vain in our favorite shop's dressing room, without feeling like total fools. it's fun to act all mature like the adults that we're supposed to be. it's fun to wish for things that wouldn't come true, and really wish they would, and feel really sad that they wouldn't... after dinner, we walked around high street because she says she hasn't walked around high street with many shops open (when we were just there last year, and nothing has really changed much since then). naturally, we gravitated towards topshop. after resisting the midnight sale at galleria the whole day (buy 1 take 1 at schu!), i found myself spending money i am supposed to be saving up (for a trip to bangkok) on a grey cotton jersey shirt. hey, it's half off, and very useful on days when i don't really want to think of what to wear. rob fell in love with a cobalt blue dress that looks fantastic on her, and we surmised in front of the mirror of how these clothes would look better on us, if only she were more well-endowed, and i less. after mulling over whether or not we should pay the P150 entrance fee at mag:net (the bands playing didn't seem worth it), we opt for dessert and hot choco at sonja's. i am a cake fan, but not a cupcake fan. there is a difference, i just can't explain it. but we both wanted some place nice to sip hot drinks in and gush over the things that make us...well...gush. at sonja's, i always make the mistake of ordering a vanilla sunshine cupcake, because on the display window, it looks irresistible. but after a few bites, i realize that the cake is dry, and the icing's too sweet, and i end up not finishing it up.  what deep, philosophical ramblings did we declare to each other during our friday-night date? that she did not have a pet name for her ex, that all my life, i've been trying to impress mine; that of all my college crushes, i fell really hard for that one i couldn't have. that i have not done something impulsively (shopping excluded) for the past few years. that she has somewhat fell out of love with fashion since she started working for a clothing company, and i with magazines since i started in publishing. things like that. yet we shared with each other so much more beneath those words, things we don't need to say but we understand, things we can only say to each other and not to anyone else. it's nice to have someone like that, who understands even if all you can say is "parang ganun...yung parang, alammoyun, yung hindi ko ma-explain?" and she'll just say, i know exactly what you mean. when we were in grade school, i used to write rob tons of letters, and she only wrote back a few times. now, she has promised to give me what is due me. and even if i already know she'll be writing me nonsensical things, i will understand, and i'll tell her, yes rob, i know exactly what you mean. meowww yourself!

taray ng fez [last heard purring at05-14-08>] a few weeks back, i posted this entry on my lj. here's a sneak peek: this is all i'm ever going to post from that shoot. i don't think i'm that uninhibited. meowww yourself!

[last heard purring at05-09-08>]  i need a haircut. 4 meowmeows meowww yourself!

[last heard purring at05-03-08>] i am currently in the process of letting go of some...okay, a lot of my inhibitions. someone once told me how much self-restraint i had, and he meant this not in a good way. he said that i was keeping myself from doing a lot of things because of what other people might think. sometimes, i wish i could turn off that part of me that always weighs the opinions of other people, because it almost always wins. i wish i could be as bold and daring as some people. i could have done a lot of things by now, i could be somewhere else, doing something i have always wanted doing, just letting life take me along for the ride. today, i used up a gift certificate my sister had given me for my 25th birthday for a free photo shoot at her studio. i have delayed using it up because i wanted to be photographed in a getup that i would enjoy looking at a few years from now. i wanted to make up for the so-so graduation picture i settled for in college. i prepared for it at the very last minute, hence, the corny leather jacket, aviator shades, and gum. while i did not want to have the same look as all the other girls (too many audrey hepburns in our batch), i did not want to look too excited either. when i look at my picture in the yearbook now, i cringe. my children would look at it years from now and would probably think how boring their mother must have been back in the day. i have always loved dressing up, and so for today's photo shoot, i went to the parlor to have my hair done. i contracted rob for the day to style for me, and my sister to do my makeup. i loved every minute of it, and ignored half-meant comments from the others over being so excited and so prepared. after two hours of posing and emoting in front of the camera, i said casually, "i would love to pose in the nude someday." and ate heidi goes, "you want? i'm game!"  and know what? so was i. i haven't been as clear-minded and level-headed as i was at that moment i agreed to bare in front of them. but before you get excited, let me just clarify that i didn't go full throttle. i have my period (yes, gross but true, so get over it), and naturally i couldn't completely go for gold. true to one of my pegs, i was "artfully" covered. it wouldn't land me on omg!, that's for sure.  i looked at the pictures afterward and saw only the flaws (my gigantic thighs, my sagging arms, the ever-present belly), but i beamed with pride at what i had done, if i may say so myself. this was a big let-go for me, my imperfect body being one of my constant stress inducers. even if i still see the things i do not like to see (getting over them is an entirely different entry), knowing that i did that and felt totally comfortable in my own skin was incredibly liberating.  hopefully, one day i will be able to let go of most, if not all my inhibitions. i don't intend to be a wild child and attract attention just for the sake of it. i want to be able to do these little exercises that will enable me to accept myself--my body, my feelings, my psyche--for who i really am.  today, risque photo shoot. tomorrow...pole-dancing perhaps?  3 meowmeows meowww yourself!

happy times, quickie time [last heard purring at04-30-08>] i got this text message from ryan while i was at work yesterday: "gusto mo mag quickly? :) nandto ako sa galleria." i had to read the message twice to overcome my, well, disbelief, over what i thought was an unusual request (i initially read "quickly" as, um, "quickie"). nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise. ryan seldom drops by work unexpectedly, particularly when i used to work in makati. being in the same city as he is is a bit of a convenience. you see, he is not the type who conjures up these little surprise-my-girlfriend things on his free time. if i'm out of the way, i'm out of the way. even the little quickLY time we had yesterday wasn't because he just wanted to see me (he'd met up with a guy for a guitar-effects trade). one of the most memorable surprises ryan ever gave me--and those come few and far between--was when he surprised me with a song-and-dance number with his then-new band, narda, for my 21st birthday. while he sang The Cure's "Lovecats" (with jv and jing as "choowariwap" girls), the rest of the band--ed ibarra, wincy, katwo, and akong (not a band member, but one of ryan's closest friends from Tanghalang Ateneo)--danced to the tune dressed in these crazy animal costumes (wincy's udders always come to mind). ryan choreographed it, of course. that was his first, and unfortunately, last grand production number for me. the moment i realized ryan had stopped being romantic, i felt cheated on. it felt a bit like buying something you saw on the TV shopping channel, and then realizing that it's not trimming down your body fat at all, and you want to sue the company that sells them to unwitting customers like yourself. i would insist that ryan has to be romantic all the time. he has to be the same guy he used to be when he was still flirting with me. he has to be extra nice. he has to say "i love you" every night, before he goes to bed. he has to put me first over everything and everyone else. that was on our third year together. i cannot forget it. every few weeks we'd have this big big fight, and when we'd make up, we'd spend the next couple of weeks walking on eggshells, before one of us would explode once again. i would act all selfless and thoughtful, then afterwards complain that he wasn't doing the same. he would try a few days or weeks to satisfy my whims, then afterwards complain that he would rather please only himself. i'm surprised, thinking back, that he went through all that and didn't let go. i'm sure he thought of it, especially during our fights, when we'd spend hours without talking, our backs facing each other. after awhile, he would touch me on the shoulder, and we'd be okay. nowadays, i think we've struck a balance. we haven't had a really bad fight in months, which is great. to the risk of sounding boastful, i think i can say that i've been a pretty neat girlfriend lately. he's been dealing with a lot of personal issues, and he's told me once or twice how much he really appreciates that i listen to him, and help him with his problems. it fattens the heart to hear from him that i am the first person he runs to when something good or bad happens to him, moreso because ryan never used to tell me that before. i had to fish real hard for compliments from him before just to make myself feel good. i guess we've both of us learned--he the value of kind words, and i the value of contentment, especially when kind words are hard to come by. we've surpassed the dark ages, and now is the era of peace. i wonder what would mark the golden age?   4 meowmeows meowww yourself!

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